A letter and a promise
by UnwieldyInk
Summary: Poor Leo probably won't react to well to what happened in TBM *TBM SPOILERS DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK*


Leo sat motionlessly. The cream colored wall in front of him seemed to swim in his vision. He found himself focusing on a stain in the bottom right corner of the wall, where he'd dropped an open bottle of Dr. Pepper a few weeks ago.

Before he'd left for Camp Jupiter.

Before he'd found out that Jason…

His fists clenched again before he could stop them, and he desperately pushed those thoughts to the back of his brain. Not _out_ of his brain. Just to the back. One of these days, he'd be able to think about those things again.

For now, he was glad Calypso was away. She was off somewhere, Leo didn't know where. That morning, she'd whispered something about some market nearby and invited Leo to come with her. He shook his head. She asked him if he wanted her to stay with him. He shook his head. He needed time to think. So she left.

It was nice. This was nice. The first time that he'd been alone since he found out that Jason…

Well, guess there's no avoiding it, then, Leo thought. He couldn't go two minutes without his thoughts falling back to Jason.

He and Piper had talked about it, of course. Cried about it. Leo thought they were both thankful for the excuse to be alone together, just the two of them in the skies, flying on Festus' back, staring for hours at the canyons and deserts wheeling by. It was relieving, to talk things over with her. It just wasn't the same for the others, after all.

But even being with Piper… he still had to hide some things. She had it worse than he did, Leo thought. She'd lost not only a friend, but a boyfriend. Even when Piper told him that she and Jason had broken up months before now, he still saw it in her eyes. Not to mention, the guilt. Piper had confessed to Leo that part of her felt like it was her fault, and he couldn't say he blamed her. Maybe if she hadn't broken up with him, things would've turned out differently. Maybe if she had convinced him to come back to camp instead of going to that boarding school.

Of course, Leo could have done that one, too. He could've done so much if he hadn't been absent. If he'd been there for Jason. Leo slumped over, feeling another wave of guilt being pulled over his ears like a heavy blanket, until he could hear nothing but his own heartbeat.

He shouldn't have chosen to be alone. This was not nice. Being alone with his thoughts was not nice.

Leo squeezed his eyes shut.

" _Hey, dude." Jason slipped into the seat next to Leo, gingerly placing a plate loaded with eggs and toast on the only place on the workbench that wasn't covered in gears and parts. "I brought you breakfast."_

" _That's- that's great, Jason," Leo called from inside the engine he was rummaging around in. "Gimme a minute."_

 _Finally, Leo finished what he was doing, and wiped the grease off of his hands as he made his way over to Jason. Seeing the breakfast plate, Leo broke out into a big smile, saying: "Aww, you didn't have to do that, Lightning Boy."_

 _Jason shrugged. "I guess it's not like you have anywhere to eat it, though."_

 _It was true. As Leo surveyed Bunker Nine, his eyes sweeping over tons and tons of spare parts swelling up over the tables, he realized there was not one place he could sit and eat- unless he wanted engine fluid in his food._

" _Floor it is, then," Leo muttered. To his surprise, Jason laughed, and plopped himself down on the ground. Leo slowly sat next to him._

" _So, how is the whole ship thing coming?" Jason asked, nodding towards the wooden skeleton resting to their left._

" _It's coming," was all Leo could say. Jason laughed again._

" _You've been working really hard on it. Did you even sleep last night?"_

" _I got a couple hours," Leo lied._

" _Well, you should try to get a couple more. You look awful."_

" _Gee, thanks."_

" _I'm serious, Leo. You don't have to do all this, you know."_

" _But I do, though. We only have until this summer to finish building the_ Argo II _, and let it fly off into the sunset."_

 _Jason hummed in what could have been agreement, could have been disbelief. Leo never really could tell._

" _You know, one of these days…" Jason hesitated. "...I'm going to make sure that you get to be happy for yourself. Only for yourself. You won't have to work to make other people happy anymore. You'll work to make_ yourself _happy."_

 _Leo laughed nervously. "Uh, wow, man, that's sorta deep."_

" _Guess so." Jason had a sort of sad smile on his face. "But I mean it. I promise."_

Leo had the letter in his hands. The letter that Piper had given him. The letter from Jason.

He'd known he was going to die, Piper had said. He'd prepared a letter for everyone. The thought made Leo sick to his stomach. If Jason had known that he was going to die, why did he spend his last few months all alone? Why didn't he come back to camp? Why didn't he come find Leo-

 _He tried,_ Leo thought. _He tried to find me. But I was gone. I was gone, and he was all alone._

Wiping tears away furiously, Leo attempted to steady his hands. The letter was the most important thing now. His hands were still shaking. His hands _never_ shook. Even when he was the most afraid, his hands were the one thing that rely on to still work properly. But now…

When he first found out that Jason was dead, Leo couldn't even think. His mind was so convinced that it couldn't be true that he basically shut down all thought altogether. It was hard to even make words. But now that he was alone? Now that he'd had time to process? This was worse. This hurt more. He shouldn't have chosen to be alone. His thoughts weren't nice to him when he was alone.

Leo tore open the letter quickly. Calypso would be home soon. He had to hurry. Never mind his shaking hands. Leo smoothed the paper out against his knee, squinting to make out the words:

 _Dear Leo,_

 _First of all, I'm sorry. I know you're probably angry at yourself. Probably angry at me, too. I might deserve that, but I'm sorry._

 _I don't know when you're going to read this. It could be years from now, for all I know. It could be never. I wonder where you are as I'm writing this? I miss you, buddy._

 _Please don't blame yourself for what happened. I made my choice._

 _And one more thing. I made some promises that I guess, now, I can't keep. I'm sorry for that. But please try to make yourself happy._

 _I love you, man._

 _Jason_

Leo dropped the letter on the ground. Dry sobs, without any tears left, were shaking him violently.

Jason kept his promise. Jason always kept his promises. Jason always looked out for him. Even when he was on his freaking deathbed, he was still concerned about Leo. That was so unequivocally _Jason_ that it almost made Leo laugh.

Well, Leo couldn't let him down now. Jason would still keep his promise. Leo would make sure of it. He'd make himself happy. He'd thank Jason.

Leo picked up the letter, folded it up, slipped it back into the envelope, and placed it on his bedside table.


End file.
